enough is enough
enough of those sad and vague thoughts! had enough of them.. (atleast this isnt as heavy as the old entries... i guess?! hehe)
so, i therefore conclude that it was just a phase.. i guess im getting old (yikes! dont likey!).. but atleast now, i feel so much better (except for those misses at work i will elaborate and rant over later). i just got the time to ponder on something i heard on the radio on my way to the office. i was listening to the top ten of the "morning rush with chico and delamar" (RX 93.1 - makes me really laugh everyday. guess this is why i am perky in the morning). their topic was something like "the quote you would apply to live your life" and one entry really hit me. "mistakes make you think but big mistakes make you think HARDER". its like the quote talked to me and told me why i was going through such a difficult time. i made a big mistake and that is why i was thinking so HARD... so hard for me to convince myself of never making the same mistake again. now, it all makes sense why i never stopped thinking until it got to the point wherein i felt so lost and confused. but, as i said, its all good now. everything is ok and im surely moving on...
---*---*---*---*---*---
lets get to the "rant over" section of my blog. i swear! i guess this has been the worst (if not, one of the worst) week of my entire career life! (to think, the week isn't over yet! argh!) im just frustrated by the fact that the last three working days of my FTS DM life didnt turn out the way i wanted it to be (you know.. smooth, no misses, theoretically perfect!) but hell, the opposite thing happened.. i swear! i dont know how to take it. its just that when i do something (may it be work related or non-work related), i see to it that i give my 100% effort and as much as possible, i try not be careless... but hell! why did it have to be those days? i know im careless... but i just wish that those were not the days my carelessness attacked. i know, i know, it happens. but this is different for me. because its like my last week in FTS! i dont want my teammates to remeber me as someone who missed this and that.. hay buhay... argh! i really dont want to sound as if this is my life.. but i am just frustrated... ewan ko.. pinanganak siguro talaga akong ganito.. madaling ma-bother! i remember when i was still in highschool, whenever there were tests and i didnt get a 100, i would cry.. at paparusahan ko self ko.. (like no telebabad, no tv, no nothing!) lalo na if i knew that i could have made it... thats how babaw i get sa pagiging bothered. my mom and dad would worry big time kasi nga ang babaw ko.. at super dali nga ako ma-bother.. mashado daw akong nagiisip. pero ganon lang talaga.. maya maya wala nanaman yung pagiging bothered ko.. kasi super happy person naman ako e! mashado lang nagiisip...
well, ayaw ko na.. i quit thinking.. i quit being bothered.. i just want to be stress-free even just for tonight.. have to change this thing about me complicating the simple things in life by thinking too hard.. so i guess, ill be having fun tonight.. lets wait and see..
so, i therefore conclude that it was just a phase.. i guess im getting old (yikes! dont likey!).. but atleast now, i feel so much better (except for those misses at work i will elaborate and rant over later). i just got the time to ponder on something i heard on the radio on my way to the office. i was listening to the top ten of the "morning rush with chico and delamar" (RX 93.1 - makes me really laugh everyday. guess this is why i am perky in the morning). their topic was something like "the quote you would apply to live your life" and one entry really hit me. "mistakes make you think but big mistakes make you think HARDER". its like the quote talked to me and told me why i was going through such a difficult time. i made a big mistake and that is why i was thinking so HARD... so hard for me to convince myself of never making the same mistake again. now, it all makes sense why i never stopped thinking until it got to the point wherein i felt so lost and confused. but, as i said, its all good now. everything is ok and im surely moving on...
---*---*---*---*---*---
lets get to the "rant over" section of my blog. i swear! i guess this has been the worst (if not, one of the worst) week of my entire career life! (to think, the week isn't over yet! argh!) im just frustrated by the fact that the last three working days of my FTS DM life didnt turn out the way i wanted it to be (you know.. smooth, no misses, theoretically perfect!) but hell, the opposite thing happened.. i swear! i dont know how to take it. its just that when i do something (may it be work related or non-work related), i see to it that i give my 100% effort and as much as possible, i try not be careless... but hell! why did it have to be those days? i know im careless... but i just wish that those were not the days my carelessness attacked. i know, i know, it happens. but this is different for me. because its like my last week in FTS! i dont want my teammates to remeber me as someone who missed this and that.. hay buhay... argh! i really dont want to sound as if this is my life.. but i am just frustrated... ewan ko.. pinanganak siguro talaga akong ganito.. madaling ma-bother! i remember when i was still in highschool, whenever there were tests and i didnt get a 100, i would cry.. at paparusahan ko self ko.. (like no telebabad, no tv, no nothing!) lalo na if i knew that i could have made it... thats how babaw i get sa pagiging bothered. my mom and dad would worry big time kasi nga ang babaw ko.. at super dali nga ako ma-bother.. mashado daw akong nagiisip. pero ganon lang talaga.. maya maya wala nanaman yung pagiging bothered ko.. kasi super happy person naman ako e! mashado lang nagiisip...
well, ayaw ko na.. i quit thinking.. i quit being bothered.. i just want to be stress-free even just for tonight.. have to change this thing about me complicating the simple things in life by thinking too hard.. so i guess, ill be having fun tonight.. lets wait and see..
posted by maie @ 5:59 PM
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